I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
