i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
