We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
