I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
