Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
