My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
