Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
