what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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