I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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