wrigley field is MILF paradise
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
