Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize