Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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