i can't believe i had my finger in that
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
