Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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