i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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