well you can't waste a boner
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
