Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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