I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Im part way to drunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
