Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
