well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
