who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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