just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
