finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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