I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
