That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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