i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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