I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
