he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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