Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
