so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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