I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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