OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
