You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
