I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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