we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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