Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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