dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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