I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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