This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm getting married
To pizza
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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