i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
