Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
