I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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