just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Randomize
