Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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