dude i'm inner monologue high
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
