I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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