Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sobbing to NWA
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