Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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