i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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