She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
