Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
