Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
