whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
