Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
