why didn't you poke me back
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
