I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
