Kiss
Puke
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
