When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Rumble strips road head = magical
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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