I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
