i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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