ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
